YOU’LL HATE YOURSELF IN RECOVERY.
Deep down we all want to be recovered … until the process begins. Many will make tremendous progress and live a better quality of life. Far too many begin, only to relapse just when they’re about to turn a huge corner -because it’s too hard. And it is. It’s not too hard, but it’s harder than anything I can imagine and harder than just about anyone would want to work.
Your body starts changing- and though it’s not about your appearance- that has become your distraction from anxiety. Behaviors that have become as automatic as breathing -yet are in actuality suffocating you -have to be terminated. You feel raw, unsafe, vulnerable -your skin is crawling and your mind is raging in a chaotic fury you can’t calm.
Everything you’ve numbed away begins surfacing. Feelings, beliefs, traumas and the truth you’ve buried is now staring you in the face without your Band-Aid. You don’t know how to cope -you did the best you could to survive, but in reality it’s destroying you slowly. “It’s too much! How can I heal such a mess? Who am I?” You’ll have an identity crisis. You’ll feel more alone than ever. 5 steps forward, 2 back -but those 2 hurt! You lose sight of the bigger picture. You’re forced to speak a foreign language. “This is hopeless!” you think. It was easier to not speak. You’ll feel the lure stronger than ever to give in to your old ways and accept a less than optimal life.
This is the turning point. This is where you choose to fight for you, for a life unknown, for freedom … or resign. You were given this job because you are qualified to earn it. Keep choosing recovery over and over and over -no matter what! If you keep working through your past, feel your feelings, and develop the healthy, new behaviors necessary … you will soon be rewarded with authentic attention, friendships, safety, and peace. Best of all you’ll find yourself and begin to see a reflection you not only love -but one you realize you’ve recognized and known your whole life.
You’ll hate yourself in recovery. You’ll heal every part of yourself by seeing it through. ~Britt💜