What You Can’t See

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This is not a transformation photo. Neither is it a ‘before and after’ photo. I may have changed physically and that may be what first catches your eye, but don’t be so quick to assume.

Words of the most vicious nature consumed my mind at all times. I had depression, anxiety, OCD and I didn’t have friends – I was alone. Alone with the feeling like the worst person in the world. What was wrong with me!? I tried so hard to be perfect. Anorexia entered my life early on. I blamed myself. It destroyed every aspect of my life and almost took my life. But an eating disorder is not a choice.

After 7 years of struggling with anorexia – my problems weren’t gone. I “looked” healthier to the public, but how could they have seen my mind? Vicious words continued to recycle in my mind. My eating disorder was a way to cope and place a Band – Aid over what I didn’t want to face. My behaviors changed and I began struggling with binge eating disorder. But an eating disorder is not a choice.

And yet, I still had not healed myself from within. My eating disorder next took on the form of bulimia. Eventually, the public eye could have even praised me for looking so “healthy,” – but in reality I could have lost my life at any time. Again, they couldn’t see my mind.

But the girl standing in the middle is one that has fought to be here today. It wasn’t until I had the courage to face my internal struggles – to face myself – that I began to heal. I am so proud of my whole journey. Because I’m proud of my beautiful mind and how it worked so hard to see the beauty in this life – until I learned to see the beauty in myself. ~Britt💜

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