?#NEDAwareness Week ||”Come As You Are: Hindsight is 2020″?
“Come As You Are: Hindsight is 2020”
Eating disorders look like you and me. They look like your classmates, coworkers and neighbor next door. They look like that person who’s always smiling. They look like that person who’s very quiet. They look like that person next to you on the treadmill. They look like that person eating cake. They look like that person you envy with their six-pack abs. They look like that person who uses the restroom right after eating. And they look like that person eating salad with friends, but then a dozen donuts when alone. Eating disorders look like everyone because no look portrays them.
I secretly struggled with eating disorders for over a decade. With anorexia there were times I appeared deathly thin, but many times I appeared a normal weight. With binge eating disorder there were times I appeared fat, but many times I appeared an average weight. With bulimia there were times I appeared thin, but I also could appear normal or overweight, even all three in the same month. The key is that all of these different appearances equally stemmed from a girl who never felt good enough. I hated myself and believed changing my body was the solution. This only enhanced my anxiety and depression. This only fueled my low self-esteem until I lost myself completely.
My struggle is representative of millions. I wish I would have known I wasn’t alone when an eating disorder controlled my every thought and action. I wish I would have known I could have used my voice instead of my body. I wish I would have known that an eating disorder is just a bandage and what I really needed help for was my mind. I wish I would have known eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses and that “sick enough” doesn’t exist. I wish I would have known healing and recovery were possible. I wish I would have known there was a life after an eating disorder. Now I know. And now I hope you can see that the solution to freedom is to look within. ~Britt?