🌿I have never once uttered the words, “I regret recovery.” But countless times I have cried, “I regret my eating disorder.” To be blunt, almost every single thing in my life that I wish I could redo or undo is directly or indirectly a result of my eating disorder. My life became a series and a cycle consisting of: REGRET — PROMISES TO GET BETTER — RELAPSE — REPEAT.
I think it’s really important to mention that regret is not interchangeable with the word “fault,” or “blame.” It was never my fault for developing, or struggling with an eating disorder. I was also not to blame for the chaos it created within me. This does not mean I wasn’t responsible for my behaviors. However, eating disorders are the second deadliest mental illness, and my actions were not always in my control. Still, knowing what I do now, I could have avoided significant remorse by choosing to recover a little bit harder, a little bit longer, and a little bit sooner.
Because you will regret …
• Avoiding social situations because of food
• Wasting time counting calories
• Prioritizing your eating disorder over relationships
• Not eating cake on your birthday
• Giving more time to your disorder than education
• Spending time in treatment instead of with friends
• Canceling plans to schedule a binge instead
• Hating yourself for breaking promises to change
• Watching those who love you worry with despair
But you will never regret —choosing to recover. ~Britt💜
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