Blind Trust

🌿This brilliantly illustrates the conflict and courage involved in recovery. Trust is often a difficult issue for those who struggle with eating disorders. The process of rebuilding trust in someone or something is tough for most individuals regardless. But for those with an eating disorder it can feel impossible. You not only have to rebuild trust, but you also have to trust that your way of life is maladaptive. It’s daunting. You have to trust in something that your mind is screaming at you is false and unsafe.
I am very stubborn, and I did not want anyone to tell me that I was wrong unless they provided convincing evidence and proof. My survival and ways to cope were dependent upon behaviors that manifested into an eating disorder. My eating disorder saved me … once upon a time. But the need for safety is so strong, that it’s easy for “once upon a time” to turn into a never-ending story. Our minds cling to what rescued us in one moment, and then mistakenly cling to it for life.
The process of getting well requires the willingness to surrender your eyesight. You’re blind. Your judgement is impaired, and your actions are unpredictable. You must trust. You must have the courage to envision what is not visible, nor guaranteed. You commit yourself to this process repeatedly until it becomes familiar. Then one day everything changes. You thought you were blind, but it was only a blindfold. It falls off and you open your eyes. You take a deep breath and exhale as you appreciate the beauty through unobstructed vision. ~Britt💜
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