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Recent Posts

Defining An Eating Disorder
What We Overcome
Mirror Mirror
#DietCultureSucks
I wish …

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brittanyburgunder

⚖️Most of my life I didn’t believe I had an

⚖️Most of my life I didn’t believe I had an eating disorder because I never thought my weight was low enough. Of course, this is what my eating disorder told me, and therefore thin enough didn’t exist. Because ...
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🚫EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT ABOUT WEIGHT
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I engaged in dangerous behaviors throughout the many years I struggled with anorexia. These behaviors were continuously putting my life at risk, but I didn’t see it that way. What I saw was a way to cope, and a way to numb my anxiety and inner turmoil. My actions led me to my deathbed —literally. My eating disorder controlled my every move and my every word. I thought I was in control, but I was, in fact, wildly out of control. This is what defined my eating disorder.
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When my eating disorder morphed into binge eating, I once again was engaging in harmful behaviors. My weight dramatically increased, but it was only a side effect of the distress in my mind. My actions led me to a state of disarray. My eating disorder was in complete control, but because I wasn’t thin, I continued engaging in even riskier behaviors. This is what defined my eating disorder.
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As my eating disorder evolved into bulimia, I was once again in denial about the severity of my actions. I received compliments left and right about my toned, fit body. But inside, I was fighting an invisible war. No one knew how I prioritized meeting the demands of my disorder over my life. No one saw the horrifically unhealthy behaviors I engaged in behind the scenes. This is what defined my eating disorder.
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My eating disorder dictated my choices, actions, and self-worth. At times my weight fluctuated, but it was ALWAYS a result of my behaviors, which were driven by my MIND. This is what defines an eating disorder. But most importantly remember that YOU are NOT defined by an eating disorder. ~Britt💜
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🍂(WE FALL). I fell HARD. And often. In fact, I

🍂(WE FALL). I fell HARD. And often. In fact, I felt so worthless that for much of my life I expected to fall. I took a tiny stumble during my childhood and picked up anxiety and depression. I took another tumble in high school and picked up anorexia and exercise addiction. Years later I tripped and picked up binge eating disorder. And during college, I slipped and picked up bulimia. And I continued to stumble until I finally collapsed and hit rock bottom.
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(WE BREAK). And that is where I broke. I had lost myself completely. My identity and worth had become a murky mixture of a stranger I didn't want to know. I had spent so many years traveling down the wrong paths in life that it seemed too late to turn back. But I wanted to rid myself of my eating disorder and the self-hate that fueled it.
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(WE FAIL). But I kept failing. I tried to get up, but it seemed I had forgotten how to stand. I felt embarrassed and hopeless. So many people told me I could do it —that I could recover and get better. They promised me it would be difficult, but worth it. I didn't believe them. I tried and tried and tried, and each time I fell short.
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(WE RISE). Until one day I rose. I stood tall on my own two feet for the first time in years. I began engaging in activities I had once enjoyed and hanging out with good people. The problem was I still felt lost. I felt like the world had moved on without me. I had a lot of catching up and learning to do. And many daunting fears to tackle.
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(WE HEAL). But I was determined to heal. And I did. Not all at once. Often very slowly. Sometimes seemingly not at all. But the trek through the peaks and valleys was always of value. I met dark shadows of myself in the valleys and worked through my pain. As I unloaded my burdens, I was rewarded with the strength to climb to the top of the peaks. I marveled at the views from new heights and looked back upon my trail.
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(WE OVERCOME). I saw obstacles and rough terrain. I saw winding paths and beaten roads. I saw what I had overcome. I saw the life of an individual who once felt broken. I saw the shattered pieces of myself I picked up. And I saw how I mended them back together to make myself whole. ~Britt

✨Recovery doesn’t just happen. It’s also not

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Professional Inquiries Only. For business and media related opportunities, or inquiries regarding "Safety in Numbers" please contact Brittany Burgunder by Email: inquiries@brittanyburgunder.com or Phone: 805.234.7148

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