THE BODY YOU HAVE NOW
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?I was looking through my closet when I noticed some old photo albums sitting on the top shelf. I wasn’t intending to look through any of them, but before I knew it, I was sitting next to a stack of albums. Memories flooded out as I opened them.
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I saw pictures of my time at a treatment center. I was so young. And I could still see the beauty shining through my forced smile. How could I have hated myself so much? I remember feeling such disgust at the time, but I see myself in a much different light now. I closed the album shaking my head. If only I realized how beautiful I was then. If only I could have that body now.
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The next album I opened contained a photo of me at a tennis tournament. Vicious self-talk and buried tears were evident in the image. “I need thinner legs! I’m tired of people commenting on how muscular I am!” Oh, what I would do to turn back time and appreciate the strength and athleticism I once took for granted. If only I realized how beautiful I was then. If only I could have that body now.
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I flipped open another album and stopped on a picture of my sister and me at Christmas. My heart sank. I was unable to enjoy the holiday because I was too busy beating myself up for gaining excess weight. But that’s not what I see now. I see a loved individual who has a bright future ahead. If only I realized how beautiful I was then. If only I could have that body now.
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It’s challenging to see ourselves accurately in the moment because our feelings are seeing too. And our emotions carry more influence than eyesight or logical reasoning alone. This is why you can look beautiful, but feel ugly. You can look like a mess, but feel magnificent. It has very little to do with your body. It has a lot to do with what kind of mood you’re in.
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Only in hindsight do we see clearly. It’s easier to see your true beauty in an old photograph because your feelings aren’t clouding your vision. And there is enough space between the past and the present to view yourself without bias. Remember that your future self is wishing to look like you do right now —think about that concept and you’ll see yourself from a whole new perspective. ~Britt?