Recovery Thoughts

Not Guilty

😬Guilt and eating disorders go hand in hand. They feed off one another and they need one another to thrive. The definition of guilt is: “the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.” What crime did you commit exactly? But this is exactly how it feels…

Posted on April 26, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

A Choice You Won’t Regret

⋅ 🌿I have never once uttered the words, "I regret recovery." But countless times I have cried, "I regret my eating disorder." To be blunt, almost every single thing in my life that I wish I could redo or undo is directly or indirectly a result of my eating disorder. My life…

Posted on April 19, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Recovery Is Hard

⋅ 😈The difficulty with eating disorder recovery is that it will feel awful both to get well, and to stay sick. The question comes down to which is just a little bit less horrible. To complicate things further, your judgment will be compromised by your eating disorder manipulating your vision.…

Posted on April 12, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Beyond Food and Weight

⋅ 🧁"I'm so fat! Oh my gosh did someone just bring fresh donuts? 100, 200, 300 —how many calories did I burn at the gym? I need to eat less! Wait, what just happened? How could you have binged —again? Throw up, take laxatives, run 5 miles —now! Just 10…

Posted on April 5, 2021April 5, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Recovery Feels Wrong

⋅ ‼️RECOVERY FEELS WRONG! I felt like I was committing a crime every time I took an action towards recovery. I imagined myself as a prisoner trying to escape. Adrenaline surged through my veins in my state of hypervigilance. I was sure I'd be caught at any moment —caught and…

Posted on March 22, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

You Are Not Your Disorder

⋅ 👋"Hi! My name is Anorexia, nice to meet you." "You can call me Binge Eating Disorder, what's your name?" "I go by Bulimia or Mia for short, either name is fine." How ridiculous does that sound? And yet, for many years of my life, I could not separate my…

Posted on March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Before You Comment …

⋅ ✔️I wish this could be a class subject in schools worldwide. Even if a comment about someone else has good intentions, it most often does more harm than good. When I was struggling, especially with anorexia, I was a master at twisting other's words so that they aligned with…

Posted on March 1, 2021March 1, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

NEDA Awareness Week 2021

✨Photographs of myself. Photographs of my mind. Photographs of an affliction that's impossible to capture. It's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. It's one of the weeks I'm most proud to celebrate. And it's also a week I wish I knew nothing about. But turning a blind eye is what prolonged…

Posted on February 22, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

How I Recovered

⋅ How did I recover? There was never one thing, one person, or one defining moment I can recall that I can credit for my recovery. Rather, there are a myriad of factors that influenced me. ⋅ 1.) THERAPY: I cannot stress enough how important this has been for me.…

Posted on February 8, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

When Food Rules Your Life

⋅ 🍴It started so innocently for me. I just wanted to eat a-little-bit-healthier. I started asking my mom to pack me fruit instead of cookies in my school lunch box. ⋅ In middle school I went to a tennis camp. We were competitive athletes —carbs were essential to our performance.…