Recovery Thoughts

The Peril of Perfectionism

⋅ ✨I used to have this delusional belief that in order to matter in life, I had to be the best. This had nothing to do with narcissism —it was the opposite actually. Any source of self-esteem I possessed had run dry. I had no reserves left when I was…

Posted on August 30, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Consequences

⋅ ?Recovery is anxiety-provoking, nerve-racking, panic-inducing, and terrifying ... temporarily. While an eating disorder is a deceptive master at disguising the terrors you'll be left with. And when all is said and done, you should be much more afraid of ... ⋅ ▪️Wasting time counting calories ▪️Missing out on social…

Posted on August 23, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Don’t Cheat Yourself

⋅ ❌The only logical way a "cheat meal" could make sense is if you were in a serious relationship with a diet. It sounds silly, but that is exactly what it is, whether you're consciously aware of it or not. This term especially runs rampant in the diet and fitness…

Posted on August 16, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Beating The Binge

⋅ ?My strife with bulimia and binge eating disorder proved to be the most maddening. Prior to my first binge, I had battled with anorexia for 7 years. Restricting wasn't an issue at that time, but eating more seemed impossible. My world flipped over the night my idea of “eating…

Posted on August 9, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

The Binge-Restrict Cycle

⋅ ?A disordered dialogue ... ⋅ ME: Hmm … I think I put on a few pounds. ⋅ ED: You got that right! You’ve completely let yourself go! It’s all those extra sweets you love —cut them out! You need to regain self-control ASAP! ⋅ ME: I know, I know; I'm sorry ED. But…

Posted on August 2, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Weight-ever!

⋅ ?My value as an individual was entirely dependent upon a number on the scale. And my moods varied in perfect step with the fluctuations of my weight. I swore everyone could see right through me. If I lost a pound, I walked around with my head held a little…

Posted on July 26, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Recover Your Way

⋅ ?I wanted to recover perfectly. In fact, I demanded myself to be the definition of it —and this is, in part, why my recovery was so sporadic. The thought of recovery and its ambiguity was very intimidating. You have to forge your own trail, and you have to create…

Posted on July 12, 2021July 12, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

The Body You Have Now

⋅ ?I was looking through my closet when I noticed some old photo albums sitting on the top shelf. I wasn't intending to look through any of them, but before I knew it, I was sitting next to a stack of albums. Memories flooded out as I opened them. ⋅…

Posted on July 5, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Body Image Blues

⋅ ⚠️I once believed losing weight and shrinking myself would solve most of my problems. If there were less of me, then there would be less to hate. The issue was that I couldn't selectively reduce my size without also reducing my life. ⋅ I didn't always hate my body. The…

Posted on June 28, 2021July 8, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

When Fear And Want Are The Same

⋅ ?Eating disorders are the epitome of contradictions. You say one thing, but do the opposite. You hate something, yet do it anyway. Often, I felt as if my emotions, thoughts, and actions were screwed on backwards. It was as if I was hard-wired to operate by a system that…