Recovery Thoughts

The Binge-Restrict Cycle

⋅ ?A disordered dialogue ... ⋅ ME: Hmm … I think I put on a few pounds. ⋅ ED: You got that right! You’ve completely let yourself go! It’s all those extra sweets you love —cut them out! You need to regain self-control ASAP! ⋅ ME: I know, I know; I'm sorry ED. But…

Posted on August 2, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Weight-ever!

⋅ ?My value as an individual was entirely dependent upon a number on the scale. And my moods varied in perfect step with the fluctuations of my weight. I swore everyone could see right through me. If I lost a pound, I walked around with my head held a little…

Posted on July 26, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Recover Your Way

⋅ ?I wanted to recover perfectly. In fact, I demanded myself to be the definition of it —and this is, in part, why my recovery was so sporadic. The thought of recovery and its ambiguity was very intimidating. You have to forge your own trail, and you have to create…

Posted on July 12, 2021July 12, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

The Body You Have Now

⋅ ?I was looking through my closet when I noticed some old photo albums sitting on the top shelf. I wasn't intending to look through any of them, but before I knew it, I was sitting next to a stack of albums. Memories flooded out as I opened them. ⋅…

Posted on July 5, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Body Image Blues

⋅ ⚠️I once believed losing weight and shrinking myself would solve most of my problems. If there were less of me, then there would be less to hate. The issue was that I couldn't selectively reduce my size without also reducing my life. ⋅ I didn't always hate my body. The…

Posted on June 28, 2021July 8, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

When Fear And Want Are The Same

⋅ ?Eating disorders are the epitome of contradictions. You say one thing, but do the opposite. You hate something, yet do it anyway. Often, I felt as if my emotions, thoughts, and actions were screwed on backwards. It was as if I was hard-wired to operate by a system that…

Posted on June 21, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Beauty Of Recovery

⋅ ?Recovery takes on various shapes, sizes, emotions and feelings. Everyone has a different picture of how it might appear. But what I know to be true is that recovery ... ⋅ Looks more beautiful than your perfectly posed pictures With your six pack abs and trendy clothes. Is more…

Posted on June 14, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Lessons From Recovery

⋅ ?These are the top ten things I’ve learned recovering from an eating disorder: ⋅ 1.) THE BEGINNING IS THE HARDEST —This is when you will want to turn back to your eating disorder the most, and also when it's imperative to refrain. Counterintuitive to what you believe, you are…

Posted on June 1, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Blind Trust

⋅ ?This brilliantly illustrates the conflict and courage involved in recovery. Trust is often a difficult issue for those who struggle with eating disorders. The process of rebuilding trust in someone or something is tough for most individuals regardless. But for those with an eating disorder it can feel impossible.…

Posted on May 23, 2021 by brittanyburgunder by brittanyburgunder

Recovery Thoughts

Liar Liar

⋅ ?There was never an "aha moment" when I first recognized I had an eating disorder. Part of the reason I struggled so severely and for so long was because my eating disorder swore it wasn't to blame. In fact, it guaranteed that an eating disorder didn't even apply to me…