ARE YOU “HAPPY” OR HAPPY?

? I was H A P P Y …
Because my “happy” in the past persuaded me to believe life was as good as it was going to get. I could not see that my “happy” actually ranked about a 1 on a scale of 100. So I kept smiling. “Everything is fine! I’m fine!“ No one could break down my walls, not even me. But I didn’t want to. The more I slipped backward, the more I thought I deserved my captivity.

My walls didn’t break, but then it was me who broke. I felt frantic, claustrophobic, angry, sad, and in  denial – “Help me! No wait, I don’t deserve help. Look at me! Look at my life! Why should you try, Britt?” But it was in these breakdowns that led me to my breakthroughs.

A brick from my wall crumbled. I saw a glimpse of life … a foreign image and feeling. One I had craved seemingly forever. But I was still trapped. I didn’t belong. I didn’t know how to break free. And I didn’t want to go through the indescribable effort of not only demolishing my walls -but also rebuilding a brand new home. But it’s not about wants …

You have to. Take everything within you and destroy what destroyed you. Destroy what held you captive. Let yourself stand on the ruins -raw, alone, exposed, scared. This is courage. This is healing. This is how you find true happiness. Get down on your knees and build your new life any way you want. Take your former prison and transform it into your palace.

I don’t have to tell you which smile is authentic. Don’t live a “happy” life. Live a HAPPY life. ~Britt?