DEFINING RECOVERY
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🦋There are many different levels to recovery. Often, I thought I was recovered only to realize I had more layers to work through. Each time I made progress, I quietly rejoiced. I thought I had succeeded. I was done, healed and finished with this “recovery stuff.” But I wasn’t. And I hadn’t made it to what I now know to be true of recovery.
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I have had to define and redefine the word “recovery” multiple times. It was a constant process of examining what the term meant in relation to an eating disorder. More importantly, I had to make sense of how it fit into my own life. I found this especially challenging. I had many questions about the elusive concept of recovery. I tossed it around constantly in hopes to find concrete answers.
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One of the great difficulties is that there is no agreed upon definition of recovery. It is not founded on accepted scientific truths, nor is it a simple math equation with only one answer. And it’s definitely not a static measure that you can use to provide consistent feedback on your progress. Recovery is ever-changing, and the ways you can define it are numerous and unique to each individual.
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Personally, I consider myself to be recovered. This was not a phrase I was able to comfortably apply to myself for many years. Although I am now free from eating disorder thoughts and behaviors, this does not mean I am free from problems, stressors, insecurities, or making comparisons. But removing the pressure from equating “recovery” with “perfection,” was liberating.
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Recovery has many steps. However, it is not an ordinary set of stairs. Rather, it’s more like a spiral staircase full of many twists and turns. It’s okay if you’re still not sure what recovery means to you. It’s also okay if you’re not sure if you’re capable of reaching it. For years I believed that I could not do it. But I continued to push through both the tedious and exhausting work of healing.
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The most important aspect of recovery is to remember that it is a process. In many ways, recovery is the beginning. No matter what step of the staircase you’re on —always remember that you are capable of reaching the top. ~Britt💜