HOLDING YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
Why is it that we can have 20 great encounters and feel great about yourself and then have 1 that plays with our emotions in the same day and allow it to bring us down? It’s the whole “discard the positive” syndrome I suppose. Anyway this happened to me yesterday. I had a great day at a tennis tournament, ran into a bunch of old friends, had tons of fun with my doubles partner and was the singles champion. But later that night it became apparent that some people move on and don’t want you to move on with them even as friends. It hurts. I could wonder, “What did I do wrong? Why do you hate me? I’m sorry?”
Stop! I didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t control others opinions. And I sure as heck don’t need to be sorry. Normally, in a situation like this, where a lot of positive emotions mix with a little bad, I would cope with it by starving, or bingeing, or spending countless hours in the gym, etc. I would have all of a sudden gained an imaginary 20 pounds and become unacceptably ugly. But no way, not anymore!
Why would I let one person have so much power in my life? I don’t need to take care of them I need to take care of me! And no, I don’t need my eating disorder to help take care of me. Sometimes it’s easier to side with the 1 negative comment or situation rather than side with the 20 great ones because it validates that part of us that already feels insecure and less than. “See? This confirms I’m not good enough.” It’s harder to embrace ourselves and have positive self-esteem thanks to our society.
Remember that it’s ok to feel! It’s ok to be disappointed! It’s ok to be happy! Just don’t let an emotion turn into an un-welcomed action. Talk about it, write about it, focus on the positive and know that a single person’s opinion does not by any means define you or even describe you. Don’t put thoughts in other people’s heads, or make up stories about scenarios because 99.9% of the time people aren’t even thinking about you, sorry. So, this was my day and you know what? It was an awesome day! ~Britt