THE PAIN WE PUSH AWAY

I learned more about my goals, my life and myself in the past 5 weeks than probably my whole entire life. If you can try your best to believe me when I tell you that often it is in our seemingly weakest moments… the moments we feel there is no way out or no hope to change… it is in these moments that we are most positively vulnerable to clarity, understanding and new directions. Sometimes piecing back together your life means starting from the very beginning and I mean that literally. The destructive coping skills that become a part of our normal every day lives are certainly not our fault. In fact, good for us, we found a way to survive and meet certain needs in our life that we weren’t able to find elsewhere.

But there is a way to go back to your younger self, when things weren’t safe, when things were heartbreaking, when things weren’t fair and where things were traumatic. There is a way to go back and address that trauma hidden so deeply we forgot it was there. Yet, that’s the root cause isn’t it? We aren’t born with eating disorders after all. I’m not saying genetics don’t play a role in mental health disorders and addictions, but what triggers them to take over our lives and keep us dependent on them is usually an early event that pushes us into survival mode.

I challenge you to look at the pain you’ve pushed aside. The hurt you’ve masked under your smile, your eating disorder, your addiction or your other issues be it good or bad. It’s time to be real with yourself and authentic to others as well. Take off the Band-Aid and heal the wound. It will hurt at first, but the result is a scar that fades with time that will be sealed from infection and disease.

My work has only just begun in looking at things I’ve allowed my eating disorder and perfectionistic identity to cover up, but already it has freed me from some a few very large burdens, given me clarity as to what my goals are and the strength to pursue my passion fearlessly. Take off your masks. Take off your Band-Aids. I promise you won’t be laughed at or hurt again and I promise you won’t bleed forever. ~Britt