?I lived in a bubble for many years of my life. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G triggered me. And it was imperative that I avoid feeling at all costs. I had always been a sensitive and inquisitive individual, but also extremely insecure about my place in the world. An eating disorder sheltered my fractured mind and sedated my fears with a cocktail laced in lies. I was comfortably numb —for a while, but I was unable to abstain from the triggers of life entirely. As much as I wanted to blame the triggers for my setbacks, I regrettably realized that I was the one who was responsible.
Healing can mean many different things to different individuals. But it’s important to remember that healing is an active process of mending and restoring yourself to an improved state of wellbeing. This requires that you leave your comfort zone and address your wounds —physically, mentally, and emotionally. The word “trigger” has a negative connotation attached to it, especially when it comes to eating disorders and mental health. But the truth is triggers are necessary and important in facilitating the healing and recovery process. They should be expected, not avoided.
A trigger is a big mirror into a part of yourself that still needs work. Instead of becoming defensive, try becoming a detective. Ask yourself the hard questions:
- WHO triggered me? Does this person remind me of myself? Am I jealous? Do I feel inferior?
- WHAT triggered me? Was it something that was said? Was it something someone did?
- WHERE was the trigger? Was it some place that reminded me of past trauma? Was it outside, inside, or on social media?
- WHEN was the trigger? Was it late at night? Was it during a specific activity?
- WHY am I triggered? Are feelings that scare me coming up? Do I feel unsafe? Does my ego or identity feel threatened?
It’s not easy to face your fears and uncomfortable feelings. Healing forces you to be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Triggers will pop up to test you. Don’t turn away! By working through them you will not only pass the test, but you’ll also come to appreciate them as your greatest teacher in healing. ~Britt?