WEIGHT-EVER!

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?My value as an individual was entirely dependent upon a number on the scale. And my moods varied in perfect step with the fluctuations of my weight. I swore everyone could see right through me. If I lost a pound, I walked around with my head held a little higher and my guard down a little lower. I felt in control and received a temporary ego boost. I didn’t feel so ashamed in the presence of others. If I gained a pound, I walked around with my eyes to my feet and my shield of armor strapped on tight. I felt frantic, and my self-esteem plummeted. I was remorseful and reserved in the company of others.
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Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? You know when something is so real and big in your head that you’re certain everyone else is aware of it too? This is how I felt with my weight while in the grips of an eating disorder, and also in the earlier stages of recovery. Weight loss is disproportionately celebrated, praised, and desired. It’s become so ingrained as a status symbol in society that most individuals don’t even stop to consider why weight loss is superior. Because it’s not. Losing weight does not equal thin, healthy, beautiful, and success. And likewise, gaining weight does not equal fat, unhealthy, ugly, and failure.
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Sometimes gaining weight is the healthiest thing you can do for both your body and health. And sometimes losing weight is the unhealthiest thing you can do. These are facts. It’s with our minds that things start to go haywire. Often, we mistakenly personalize neutral feedback as an inward reflection of who we are. Gaining weight might not make you happy, but you are not a failure. Losing weight might make you happy, but it doesn’t mean you are a success. It’s important to separate your identity and self-worth from becoming too intertwined in external outcomes. Weight-gain, weight-loss, weight-ever! Who cares! Your value and worth will never waver. ~Britt?