THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT

I know you’ve seen similar transformations of mine before, but today really makes me smile. It’s my birthday and it’s really scary, emotional and so empowering to look at how far I’ve come. If 20 million people would have told the me in the left or right photo that I would be where I am in my life now, I would have honestly thought they were all conspiring against me. I’ve been broken… So broken.

Hopeless – I think I am so passionate about spreading hope to others because I know what it’s like to think it’s the end, to be told it’s the end and to want to end it yourself. To wake up everyday with a monster screaming in your head, to hear your parents cry, to watch your athletic dreams vanish, to kiss the idea of college goodbye, to witness others living happy lives and feel like the odd one out, to feel like your drowning knowing you’re the only person who can rescue yourself, to watch a precious life decline and feel it’s all your fault.

To wake up every morning with relief your heart didn’t stop… To wake up every morning to an obese body that can’t possibly be your own… To wake up every morning wondering if today will be the day you binge and then God forbid have to punish yourself with lethal doses of laxatives. Madness, hatred, trapped, suffocating, depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD… Does anyone understand? Am I really so alone?

But no! No that’s not how my story ends! And if you can relate this is not where your story ends! Because seemingly pathetic baby steps turn in to walking, turn in to a skip, a jog, a run, a sprint… and then my gosh you’re flying! How? How is that possible? How do you go from shattered glass to a beautiful mosaic? You don’t give up – you don’t! You believe. You find the inner strength that we all have. You stay patient. You put yourself first. You ask for help. You celebrate small victories. You slowly start challenging those negative thoughts.

You reach a huge milestone. Then you fall right back on your face. What? Did I ruin all my progress? Am I still stuck? Why keep trying? How did this happen? Am I hopeless? No! This is life. This is recovery. This is how you stand up and become everything you were meant to be. This is how you smile for real. This is how you become an inspiration. This is how you find you! Because that is all you ever needed to do.

So this is me standing here now… and if you were to tell me today that life will only continue to get better? I wouldn’t question you… I’d tell you damn right it will! The greatest birthday gift I could ever receive would be to know that one of you can really hear what I’m saying and go save yourself. Go love yourself. Go find your peace, your freedom, your happiness. Hope… Don’t you ever, ever lose your hope. And I will hold your hand till the very end. ~Britt