WHAT WE OVERCOME
(We fall). I fell hard. And often. In fact, I felt so worthless that for much of my life I expected to fall. I took a tiny stumble during my childhood and picked up anxiety and depression. I took another tumble in high school and picked up anorexia and exercise addiction. Years later I tripped and picked up binge eating disorder. And during college, I slipped and picked up bulimia. And I continued to stumble until I finally collapsed and hit rock bottom.
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(We break). And that is where I broke. I had lost myself completely. I didn’t know who I was. My identity and worth had become a murky mixture of a stranger I didn’t want to know, but I had to somehow accept was me. I had spent so many years traveling down the wrong paths in life that it seemed too late to turn back. But I wanted to rid myself of my eating disorder and the self-hate that was fueling it.
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(We fail). But I kept failing. I tried to get up, but it seemed I had forgotten how to stand. I felt embarrassed and hopeless. So many people told me I could do it —that I could recover and get better. They promised me it would be difficult, but worth it. I didn’t believe them. I tried and tried and tried, and each time I fell short.
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(We rise). Until one day I rose. I stood tall on my own two feet for the first time in years. I began engaging in activities I once enjoyed again and hanging out with good people. The problem was I still felt lost. I felt like the world had moved on without me. I had a lot of catching up and learning to do. And many daunting fears to tackle.
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(We heal). But I was determined to heal. And I did. Not all at once. Often very slowly. Sometimes seemingly not at all. But the trek through the peaks and valleys was always of value. I met dark shadows of myself in the valleys and worked through my pain. As I unloaded my burdens, I was rewarded with the strength to climb to the top of the peaks. I marveled at the views from new heights and looked back upon my trail.
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(We overcome). I saw obstacles and rough terrain. I saw winding paths and beaten roads. I saw what I had overcome. I saw the life of an individual who once felt broken. I saw the shattered pieces of myself I picked up. And I saw how I mended them back together to make myself whole.