MY FIRST QUARTER AT CAL POLY

I want to share with you all a little peek into my first quarter back at college. This is my first year at California Polytechnic State University (Cal Poly) of San Luis Obispo, however this is not my first year in college. As I’ve previously alluded to, my first experience with college was a disaster and blessing all wrapped into one. I started off at UC Davis and though I went in with a shining academic record and scholarships, I also went in with a burning bright eating disorder. Long story short despite loving school; I was dying. Fortunately, I was seeing a brilliant doctor at their student health center. I made it through the first two weeks of winter quarter before I got “the call.” I was asked to leave by the university and was not allowed to return until I had met certain health requirements. I was so mad and relieved all at once. To sum it up, UC Davis played a huge part in saving my life and for that I will forever be grateful.

Fast forward a few years and I’m stuck in a dilemma. What happened at UC Davis was such a traumatizing time for me considering what later unfolded with my eating disorder. Because of this, I truly believed I would never attend college again, despite being intelligent and loving to learn. In 2012 however, I decided I’d give it another go, but this time at Cal Poly. I sent in my application for fall 2013 and was accepted. Come summer 2013 and I freaked out. So many haunting memories flooded my state of mind and it was clear to me I could not attend. I was fortunate enough to defer my enrollment until fall of 2014 and I made the decision to go.

My first few weeks at Cal Poly were so nerve wracking I could hardly breathe. I kept my composure, but I’ll let you in on a little secret… I had the withdrawal forms in my hands. I mean, I did it right? I went “back to school” after everyone told me it was impossible, so now I could just quit right? But why didn’t I just quit? Something special was happening. I wasn’t being bullied like I was used to growing up in elementary and middle school. In fact, I was making friends and meeting some really awesome people. The workload was a shock at first after having been out of school for so many years, but I was actually enjoying the structure. I was pleasantly surprised that after all I had put my body through, my mind was still as sharp as ever. But you know what really was the deciding factor? My teachers. And one in particular, my psychology professor, Dr. Shawn Burn. I enjoyed her class so thoroughly and what we were learning in psychology that it lit up my mind with such an intense passion.

For the first month at Cal Poly I told myself everyday that today would be the day I’d quit, but slowly those thoughts faded. Midterms came and went… I became involved in all my classes always asking questions and being the school loving nerd I am… I created relationships with my professors… and I had some slip ups with my eating disorder – but continued to show up to class despite them – bingo! My confidence was skyrocketing. “No ED, No! You will not take school away from me this time and you know why? Because this time… this time I am choosing to be in school for me, not for anyone else.” And so my first quarter had come to an end and in a way I felt like I grew up 10 years in those 3 months. Every false, negative and traumatizing belief I carried with me from awful experiences with my peers at school were shattered and proven wrong.

I will leave you with this: I was told that the best case scenario for me was that I would have “brain damage, never go back to school, have osteoporosis and live the rest of my short life in a wheel chair.” I am a competitive, strong athlete and I just finished my first quarter at a top university with admirable grades. Impossible is nothing. Never, ever believe it is too late to do anything because when you are truly ready, you will surpass everyone else with flying colors. ~Britt